Here we are, almost at the end of the road. The mane event. The Furry Four.
All that’s left are one bird. One four-legged friend. One man. And one fruit.
And one stage: Atlanta, Georgia.
Now, when I think “Atlanta,” I think post-apocalyptic zombie wasteland. But…I doubt that’s what most people imagine. For some, Atlanta means rap. For others, Atlanta means extremely boring sports teams. For others still, Atlanta means Georgia, and Georgia means peaches.
But these are some high stakes fights, which demand a high stakes location. And when I think of northern Georgia…the foothills of the lower Appalachians…high stakes dueling…I hope you know where I’m going with this.
That’s right, these last three fights will take place in a canoe, on a river, in the desolate wilderness of northern Georgia—as per the classic movie Deliverance. Surrounded by terrifying hillbillies who probably loved this toy when they were kids. It’s the Furry Four, but it’ll sound a lot like the Soooooieee Sixteen.
“Atlanta”….approximately.
Now that I’m done vomiting with shame about all those Deliverance jokes, here are my Furry Four predictions:
THE FURRY FOUR
Louisville Cardinal vs. Wichita State Shocker
The Cardinal certainly has the advantage of flight, which will allow it stay out of the Shocker’s reach. On the other hand, given the Shocker’s rural origins and desensitization to putting…things…places, it’s essentially his home turf. Despite his familiarity with the setting, he’s unfamiliar with any sort of aquatic skills, and is more likely to kill himself on his pitchfork or the rocks than swat the Cardinal out of the air. Predicted winner: Cardinal
Michigan Wolverine vs. Syracuse Orange
The Wolverine should be fine in the canoe, with its sturdy frame, four legs, and low center of gravity. It won’t be too worried about being tossed from the canoe or slipping on the Orange, which will be rolling around the canoe floor. The Wolverine should dispatch the Orange easily…but getting back to civilization will be the tricky part. Predicted winner: Wolverine
We’ll find out how these predictions fare tonight! I’ll post the inevitable 0-for-2 recap tomorrow, as well as the Brackets predictions for the final fight.
~ Sean
Nothing Everyday 