All in the Blame Game, Yo

A week later, and the blame game is still in full swing.

The cry from the left, in unison, is that the voters have rejected the conservative social ideology: people want to make their own moral choices, people want a progressive society, people want to smoke weed with their same-sex spouses, etc. And to some extent, they disagree with the conservative fiscal ideology: the majority of the country want taxes to be raised on the very rich (exact figures depend on the poll).

There were, of course, some concerns about voter suppression, but thankfully, that wasn’t much of an issue on election day.

The cry from the right is…not…in unison. Here are three different tunes:

1) The GOP lost because it’s the “stupid party.”

Bobby Jindal, Republican governor of Louisiana, criticized the corporate interests of his party, urging fellow Republicans that they “must not be the party that simply protects the rich so they get to keep their toys.” He also demanded they reject “identity politics” and campaign for all Americans: “that means the 47 percent and the 53 percent, that means any other combination of numbers going up to 100 percent.” He lamented that several Republicans made “offensive, bizarre comments” and that “it can’t be tolerated within our party.” Finally, he proposed the party “stop being simplistic” in offering “dumbed-down conservatism” and “insulting the intelligence of the voters.”

In short, the Republicans lost this election cycle because their message is overly-simplified and they’re too often focused on the wrong things–pointless controversy and corporate, big-money interests. The Republican party is acting in such a way that it’s not appealing to most voters; it’s unwise, and it’s not beholden to the average American.

Surprisingly reasonable, Jindal!

2) The GOP lost because of extreme voices within the party.

Rush Limbaugh alleges that the party lost because of its affiliation with him, and that they’ll keep losing until they publicly denounce him. Has Limbaugh finally awakened to a sobering reality?? Hahahahahahaaaaaahahhhaahahahaa no. Really, he’s reiterating what he believes to be an attack on him (the “country class” of Republicans) by the “ruling class” of Republicans. He was too extreme, too controversial, too alienating for women and Hispanic voters. Too true, Rush.

Republican leadership wants to take a more moderate approach (now) on issues that appeal to these demographics (at least Latino voters, so, immigration), and Limbaugh (and other such loud, extreme voices) allows Democrats to cast doubt on the legitimacy of this new conservative message.

Also reasonable. And basically accurate.

3) The GOP lost because “it’s not me, it’s you.”

This is the Paul Ryan theory, so you know it’s a fucking riot.

The party lost not because of Ryan’s budget, or Romney’s mysterious tax plan, or because of anything the Republican party did or said: it was “some of the turnout especially in urban areas, which definitely gave President Obama the big margin to win this race.”

He also offered, as proof that Americans don’t really support raising taxes on the rich (as exit polls indicated), that they “voted for House Republicans to maintain their majority, which took a very clear stand against that.”

A few words:

• Basically, you’re saying you lost because people living in cities voted? Have you SEEN America? Lots of cities, brah.
• Basically, you’re saying you lost because you didn’t anticipate so many people who disagreed with you would show up and vote? Why do you think they showed up and voted?
• You’re essentially saying that such urban voters don’t merit campaign attention from you, because they won’t show up, and even if they do, they won’t vote for you.
• Why is that? Is it because they’re not in rural “real America?” as some in your party have suggested? Is it because “urban” means “black” in the Awkward White Man tongue? Is it because urban dwellers will reject your message simply because you’re not promising them free “stuff” and “things”?

If anybody has an explanation for Ryan’s “urban vote” comment that doesn’t a) still put the onus on the campaign for not attempting to reach those voters, or b) sound racially or geographically divisive…please tell me. I’d love to hear it.

One more word:

• Yes, House Republicans won more seats than Democrats (although fewer seats than the 2010 class). But Democrats won the popular vote, which means their ideology is more…popular, right? Really, it means that redistricting controlled by Republicans favored Republicans, shockingly

So, okay. I get that not every single election is a huge mandate against one party and for the other–party popularity swings regularly. But you can’t just go around blaming everyone and everything except yourself! Obama ran a dirty campaign, scary black men were intimidating voters, the polls were skewed and that affects voters’ opinions somehow, Nate Silver is a math demon, minorities and women vote selfishly, the party is too moderate, the Romney campaign didn’t hit hard enough on Benghazi, etc. etc.

But nobody in the GOP is blaming Romney, Ryan, or the message.

And when you consider all the controversy and word vomit in these past few months, there is a minimum mandate you must accept: people don’t like the things your party says and the way it says them and the people your party openly endorses. People don’t think rape is trivial, much less God’s glory. People don’t think that gays are icky, black people are lazy, and Hispanic people don’t belong here. People don’t want to protect the rich at the expense of the poor. People. Don’t. Agree. With. The. Shit. You. Say.

Purge your party of the scum, adopt a more compassionate message, accomplish something in the next two years, stop fucking lying all the time, and maybe the voters will reconsider.

Yeah, Paul Ryan. You lost, but it didn’t have aaanything to do with you or your platform. Keep believing that, champ.

~ Sean